So my daughter hasnt slept for 3 nights solid….shes awake from 11pm until 5am and then she falls asleep but its time to wake up by then.
Shes been teething bad so her nose has been a bit blocked. So I put her straight in the bed with me last night and as tired and annoyed as I was…I held her tight and normally she doesn’t like to be smothered…but at that moment she lay there with me and held my arm..completely still…….I listened to her heartbeat and it took me back to the day I heard it for the first time and I swore to myself I was going to be the best mom ever to this innocent soul. When she feel asleep at 4:30am I couldn’t sleep…..I just lay and watched her and thought…man I am so lucky,what did I do so right in my life to deserve this???
I feel like a failure some days because I get annoyed quickly in the things shes doing..but ive started to understand she is learning (I mean come on shes turning 1 not 18).
I do my best to bite my tongue and not moan at her for pushing things over….pulling things off the tv stand etc.
Today was the 1st day since she was born that shes been away from me on the days im off from work….her school asked me if she could be apart of the schools bake day as she is never there when they do so..we have a routine on a Wednesday and Friday…those are our days.
My plan was sleep late…..watch movies….just be lazy…..but my day worked out to me crying…missing her and scrubbing the house down……I feel so alone and I miss her…yet when shes with me I moan how busy she is.
What im trying to get at is…….no matter how much our kids annoy us…….there is NOTHING better than their company..