So my daughter hit 2 on the 10 of June.
Just take that in for a min…….yes 2!!!
So the tantrums and copying has started in full force.
So last weekend we went to have some fun at Carnival city and on the way out i thought it would be great to go to sweets from heaven….BIG MISTAKE. My daughter grabbed every sweet possible not understand she has to wait..and what does her FATHER do? He picks up the beast and tells her NO YOU CANT!!! She looked at him with the “B?!ch say whaaaaaat” look…..she let out this biggest scream alive…..
I did the most terrible thing ever…i turned around and pretend shes not mine…..yes terrible me…..her dad dragged her out after security came running thinking she was being kidnapped.
I saw this lady stand and stare at my hubby with disgust and looked at me…..i shook my head and i said “flip these kids with tantrums” and turned back around……yes i threw him under the bus.
Now before you go judge…just picture yourself at my state….i feel completely bad for it because i know its difficult controlling your childs tantrums in public but at that time i did it in panic….
So i bought her a foil baloon and everything was ok with the world.
So….word of advice…when you see a child with a tantrum (obviously not a 18 year old) know the parents are doing their best in the scenario and dont judge..because judging makes us feel worse……and just keep your judgmental looks and whispering for when you home.
RESPECT to the moms who keep their cool… RESPECT to moms who ignore tantrums…RESPECT to moms who dont go out for this reason!!!!!!RESPECT to the moms who talk through their teeth with threats!!!
One of my biggest fears when i was pregnant was that my 2 dogs would not adjust to Izabella. And i was also scared Izabella would be a bully to the dogs and i wouldnt know how to discipline her. These 2 were basically the babies in the house….the day i walked out the house on the day of my C section, i was overcome with fear and i was very overwhelmed.
During my pregnancy, Baloo (my pug) became very attached to my stomach and Izabella loved having his body against my tummy.
When Bella was born, Baloo and Cammie were so curious.
Baloo knew EXACTLY what she was. As she got older, her and Baloo have just gotten closer and closer.
He encouraged her to walk, to crawl, to play, and she even got her confidence back after an incident at her previous school. When Bella slept in her cot, Baloo was next to it.
Bella is nearly 2 and i have never seen such a beautiful bond like Izabella and Baloo. My heart is so proud that my fiance and i have raised a beautiful soul and an animal lover. Izabella always finds the animals at any destination she is at.
This is something she will look back on one day and say she had a best friend, a pet, a shoulder to cry on, a tea party friend, a cuddle buddy and a hot water bottle 🙂
We take life for granted and so busy with work and life, we dont take a step back and see how beautiful our lives really are. Im so blessed and i thank God everyday for my beautiful blessed family and my amazing, beautiful daughter!!!!
So my daughter hasnt slept for 3 nights solid….shes awake from 11pm until 5am and then she falls asleep but its time to wake up by then.
Shes been teething bad so her nose has been a bit blocked. So I put her straight in the bed with me last night and as tired and annoyed as I was…I held her tight and normally she doesn’t like to be smothered…but at that moment she lay there with me and held my arm..completely still…….I listened to her heartbeat and it took me back to the day I heard it for the first time and I swore to myself I was going to be the best mom ever to this innocent soul. When she feel asleep at 4:30am I couldn’t sleep…..I just lay and watched her and thought…man I am so lucky,what did I do so right in my life to deserve this???
I feel like a failure some days because I get annoyed quickly in the things shes doing..but ive started to understand she is learning (I mean come on shes turning 1 not 18).
I do my best to bite my tongue and not moan at her for pushing things over….pulling things off the tv stand etc.
Today was the 1st day since she was born that shes been away from me on the days im off from work….her school asked me if she could be apart of the schools bake day as she is never there when they do so..we have a routine on a Wednesday and Friday…those are our days.
My plan was sleep late…..watch movies….just be lazy…..but my day worked out to me crying…missing her and scrubbing the house down……I feel so alone and I miss her…yet when shes with me I moan how busy she is.
What im trying to get at is…….no matter how much our kids annoy us…….there is NOTHING better than their company..
So if u all remember im the mom who….LOST MY SHIT last Friday with my daughter.
Well today…out of nowhere she was sitting on the couch with me and she did something amazing.
Leaned across my lap..looked up at me..pointed and said mamma with her bunny teeth in sight!!!
Never in my life did I ever think something so small could melt me!!I literally felt my chest go like jelly and my heart melt (maybe its the meds im on who knows).
We all brag and ask for advice on here or even fight…..but we need to post those random pictures we so proud of..those pix that make us melt..why not?? I vented on Saturday morning about loosing my shit…….and I still feel horrible but you know what? You mom’s were right!!!she has clearly forgotten about it!!
For the first time in a week I have felt well enough to cuddle and kiss her and hold her without feeling im going to infect her and man did it feel amazing!!!
This girl is my drug..shes my cure…shes my purpose…shes my everything…..shes MY DAUGHTER!!!!
You moms are all amazing……every small bit of what you do makes a big difference in your child’s life!!!!!!Thank you for all the amazing comments to my last looong post last week:) keep up the amazing work…Super stars!!!!!!!
Ps heres the face of the girl who made me loose my shit
There are times in parent hood where u simply fall apart….im serious….if u havent yet its still coming. If you have then you know what im talking about.
You’re exhausted,you pull in too many directions and get pushed too far. It always builds up with lack of sleep,always being needed,no help in your household,life stress etc.
The bad part about loosing your shit is that it makes everyone else sad..it makes you look like a mental person. Being a new parent I have been edging on the cliff of loosing my shit, ive been strong for 9 months ive tried to be the best mom I can be……but today I really lost my shit…and thanks to that one moment of snapping I cannot sleep.
I have been man down with bronchitis…..not having a voice and being too ill to even care about my appearance…..my throat is so sore id do a c section 10x over!!!! And here I expect my precious daughter who is 9 months to understand why I am so crabby and ill, how stupid of me!here I expect her to understand why I cant pick her up or not look or breath in her direction for the fear she will get this sick as shes just overcome being sick.
Today I moaned at my daughter (or attempted to) that I had her in tears for 10 mins because she was whining all day….and yes I lost my shit and man did I feel like a dog for doing so!
Many mom’s who have lost babies…..encountered misscarriage wish they had a baby to love and hold and wish to go through this and here I abused my privilege as a mother…..I am ashamed of myself.
I felt that snapping feeling….that rage….that feeling like u just want to bash your head against the wall……and was it worth it? No!! But you know what…..being a sick mom at home with a needy baby is hard!big ups to you single mom’s!!!RESPECT!!!!
So yes….today….I lost my shit…no one can prepare you for the ups and downs of parent hood! But its okay to loose your shit…not everyday…but once in a while….all the women on the front of the pregnant magazines all smiles and perfect skin and hair…..wait….you will loose your shit soon enough.
What really topped it off..I lay my daughter for a nap after our little shit fit and she fell asleep holding my hand….thanks izabella…mom really feels bad now!!!
This is my first vent post and now I need some motivation because I feel like the boogyman…stealing happiness away…and I feel like death is knocking at my door waiting to loose its shit all over me!!!!
Im not a bad mom…..I think im a freaken amazing mom…..who lost her shit today..im crying as I type this but no one can hear me with no voice LOL